Updated: Apr 26, 2019
Fear of death and suffering, may be, the root of chaos...
Once suffering and death are understood, rather than resisted,
the perfume of liberation tempers all facets of mind...
duality finds its final resting place unified in the heart...
mind becomes unbound and pure, awakened in it's natural state of Light.
The Accident happened 3 am in Forsyth, Georgia. The closest hospital was a distance from the accident site. I don't remember the ride nor checking into the hospital. I remember my sleep was constantly disturbed by nurses reciting redundant questions in the midst of intense lights flashing in my head.
The attending nurse took my blood soaked clothing home to clean. On her way, she stopped at the corner store telling the owner about the accident. Later that day, the truck driver, who called the ambulance, stopped in the same store telling the owner what he saw. The store owner told the truck driver I was alive.
On his way home, the truck driver stopped at the hospital to see me. His expression of shock was like a mask on his face as he entered my room repeating, "I saw you die."
I censored my discomfort and got out of the bed thanking him for calling the ambulance. He asked me if I saw the lady in the car, that was praying, had come to see me...I replied, "no."
I recalled seeing a vague image of a car frame in flickering yellow flames with bluish-purple rays extending into infinity while in the light (Realm of a Thousand Suns). A subtle realization washed over me that this is what prayer looks like. I saw how heart, sound and words reverberate through matter. I saw the magnificence of kindness and compassion. I saw how source lives within and waits for us to delve into it to speak it. Thoughts and words paint the invisible and visible world with unimaginable beauty and heart when mindful. I felt how brilliant in spirit we are when we transcend fear by remembering who we are.
No matter what was happening around me with the scurrying of nurses and constant monitoring, It was oblivious. Every fiber of my being, from physical to energetic and spiritual was impregnated with light. I had no mind, thoughts or emotions. My body felt as though it didn't exist. Messages and realizations poured through at a quickened speed. By some miracle, everything was retained in my chalice of subtle knowing. The impact of this experience penetrated with vibrational fluency uninhibited by a mantle of words or thought. We are timeless, omniscient presence. What exists within and between particles of matter, love exudes it's ambrosial power.
The doctor insistently administered a plethora of medication including pain pills. I knew they would not benefit my healing process so I dumped the pills in the toilet. Even though my head was throbbing. I visualized the memory of seeing my body as luminescent light, free of injury. Simultaneously, I applied pranayam (yogic breathing techniques) by humming one tone while positioning my tongue firmly on the roof of my mouth. I could feel the soothing vibration thought my hologram of layered energetic bodies, matter and soul.
I had no resistance to the pain. It appeared to be a dense cluster of vibrational threads that was not a part me. I needed to navigate through this until the clusters were dispersed. Amazingly, the energy transformed with prana and sound. As I dove deeper into he vibrational mass, I could feel the light and my cells merge from a frequency sourced beyond the realm of consciousness. The vibrations of my singing took me on a journey that transformed intense pain to neutrality, peace and emptiness..
Nestled in the Light (realm of a thousand suns) was a constant involuntary state of awareness. It was pure communion. This changed my perception of who I was from finite substance and mind to a surrendering emptiness. This is why I died. The accident and injuries was a profound healing and discovering process of experiencing the infinite within finite form. Truly knowing the divine is more real than the world around me.
Recalling the multilayered, colorful light I saw from the lady in the car, I discovered pryers are dialogue from the heart of the divine SELF and prayers are always answered because they are who I AM.
To be continued